He heard.

I just posted this to my facebook page, but I wanted to preserve it here too because I don't want to lose sight of it.

Making the rounds checking on my babies and felt the overwhelming need to lay hands on them and pray. So I did. I prayed over Briley and shared some things with God that have been weighing on me for her life and her future. Truthfully I am so weary that it didn't take much to move me to tears as I prayed for her. I finished praying for her and by the time I walked in River's room I was sobbing with the weight of all that I want God to take from him. I accept and I love him for everything he is, but that doesn't change the fact that I want MORE for him. This isn't enough. I want him to hold his head up and I want to hear him talk. I want to see him walk and play with his sister. I told God I knew He had used River just as he is. I see it here on FB with the sweet comments you all leave me. I hear it from stranger's. But I want more. I want this child with the grade 4 brain bleed to stand before you, to talk to you, so that you know it was nothing but the hand of God that got him where he is. I just asked God to hear my heart because I know I can't explain it well enough. I don't really pray for signs, but I just needed to know He knows my heart and my hurt. I needed to know He isn't done with this miracle boy of mine.

I ended my prayer and I walked into the hall. My aunt had called earlier, but I was putting River to bed and missed her call. She had left a voice mail. She made me laugh, she told me about her day, and she said she was praying for River. For me. That God would give me a miracle, but that even if He didn't, well He still loves us. And then she said," I'm just praying that God will not let you lose your desire for what you want for River."

I know this is long and wordy, but I just wanted you to know... wherever you are in your life... I hope you know Him. I hope you know this amazing Savior who held my hurt before I even took it to Him. Who prepared someone to give me a "sign" without my asking. Thank you to my God who is somehow bigger than I comprehend, but small enough for my little world.